I sort of have this "get out of jail free" or "give me a break" card that I go back and forth on how I feel about using. All I have to say is "I have survived two cancers" and people pause and typically decide to give me a break. Just the other day, I missed a medical bill among all of the medical bills I get. Insurance reimbursements and medical bills and explanations of benefits all start to blend together after awhile. You have to be diligent in matching things up or you'll miss stuff. I'm not the most organized bee in the hive.
Maybe if you just go in for your annual checkup you don't experience this pile up of insurance brain damage but when you are cured of an Immature Teratoma, in remission from Myelodysplasia, and currently have Lymphedema, Sciatica, COPD, Celiac, Eczema, Migraines, and a possible urinary tract infection the bills sort of pour in. So sue me - I missed one. Well, they weren't going to sue me but they were going to send me to collections so I called and explained how difficult it is for me to keep track of it all. I told the girl how I have survived two cancers and it's just so hard for me now to focus on this stuff...She was incredibly helpful. She couldn't actually help me - I had to get it cleared up through the collection company but it got cleared up. This girl called me back a couple of hours later though because she really wanted to help me. She felt moved enough by the simple fact that I have had some serious struggles that she wanted to do everything she could to help me. She still couldn't do anything but she really tried and expressed great relief when I told her the collection company was also extremely helpful. Wow. Try and get that sort of experience without the cancer card.
Some people though...some people will accuse you of lying about something like this just to get a break, others will... well, that's another thought completely. I was trying to tell you about this little tool I now have that I did not used to have. It has made my life easier; people generally have compassion and I've had cancer - twice, unlike 80% of the population so 80% - well you have to assume 20% are assholes so that leaves 60% - so... 60% are going to empathize and show compassion. Not horrible odds. That number by the way, came right out of my ass - I have no idea what the number is. It's getting bigger though, cancer is still on the rise - even with all the millions and millions and millions of dollars that have gone into it. Suzanne Summers and I and many others have been trying to tell you it don't cost that much but you just won't listen. Again, getting off track here. Cancer is going to surpass Heart Disease as the #1 killer in America. So pretty soon, my sob story may not be so special.
And so we get to why I am writing again, right now, when I'm suppose to be nursing the last of my flu, asleep in bed; I'm not at all special. I haven't endured anything compared to so many other people. There are people that enter this world starving to death and die before they ever get to taste one morsel of nourishment. In the words of so many American mothers trying to get their kids to eat vegetables; "There are children starving in Africa!"
There are people who live on $1.25 per day. They have nothing. Their governments are so corrupt that they steal the aide from the people and perpetuate wars among them. The people would give anything to eat some of the corn we're growing to put in our vehicle's gas tanks so we can go camping for the weekend. Camping. Ha! There are some people who could probably not even begin to wrap their mind around the idea of camping - We're going to leave our hot shower, oven, dishwasher, and toilet to go rough it outside in the "wilderness" for a couple of days. Ha! They've never established a residence that would be considered by us anything but camping.
God has blessed me and blessed mine. I have no idea why I got so lucky. If you ask Dick he'll say it's because my German Great Grandparents decided to migrate here to America, the land of opportunity and FREEDOM so I naturally was born here. For me - I'm not so sure it's that cut and dried. I don't believe my soul was always destined to become a white female born in Tacoma. I think up until the point my soul entered my actual body, it was up in the air - I probably had a choice of a few possible lives to live. Maybe I could have been Tiger Woods instead, I think our birthdays are close. Why was it written in stone that my body would be a white female born in America? I don't know what is wrong with me tonight, I keep getting off track.
What I am trying to say is that I am one of the luckiest bitches on the face of the earth. I'm naturally Blond, I'm thin, I'm smart, and I was born here in America where even the worst of problems are nothing compared to others. But even some of my fellow Americans have had struggles that are so much more difficult than my struggles. I am feeling a lot of gratitude for all of my blessings and pray that we will be able to work towards rather than away from ending the suffering that affects so many, in every part of the world.
I only use my give me a break card when I really feel like I need a break. I try not to abuse it and every time I use it I think of some specific story that I have logged in my mental file of someone who deserves it more than me.
By the way, in case your interested, I have remarkably few symptoms associated with the collection of diseases I have acquired because of my cancer. Most of my doctor visits are to monitor blood work - that consistently looks good, or for preventative services such as massage, nutritional counseling, or acupuncture. Some of you may be surprised that I - the clinical nutritionist would seek out nutritional counseling but it's impossible to evaluate your own self objectively.
Okay. I lost my glass slipper 11 minutes ago and Prince Charming is hot on my heels.
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